A recent Channel 4 drama explored the issue of coercive control in a relationship which can be a subtle form of domestic abuse but is no less damaging than inflicting physical pain.
‘I Am Nicola’ the one-off drama looked at the relationship between the two main characters. It made for uncomfortable viewing at times as Nicola was subtly (and sometimes not to subtly) manipulated by Adam, the man she lived with. With close up camera work the viewer was able to feel the impact of Adam’s coercive control over Nicola.
Recently a study was commissioned amongst 2000 UK adults which revealed that over half of respondents (53%) reported having experienced bullying or controlling behaviour from their partners. Men were just as likely to experience most of the behaviours with more reporting control over spending, being spied upon, limiting food and destruction of possessions. Nearly half did nothing about it compared with women where they were more likely to end the relationship.
The survey also showed that few people were aware that coercive controlling behaviour is a criminal offence. It has been since 2015. It carries a penalty of up to 5 years in prison and a fine.
Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse. It is not always as easy to spot as say, violence which leads to an obvious physical injury. However, its impact on a victim in terms of their mental health, self-confidence and self-esteem can be as damaging as a physical punch or a kick. It is sometimes said that injuries which damage your mental wellbeing take longer to heal than a bruise or a broken bone.
Coercive control is on-going psychological behaviour which aims to influence the victim’s actions and remove or limit their freedom. It might be restricting the time you spend with family or friends, belittling you in terms of body size and choice of clothes, providing an allowance to live off, making you feel you shouldn’t engage in normal daily activities such as going to the gym and taking your phone from you or limiting passwords. There are many behaviours which amount to coercive control and it is abuse.
We watched Nicola become isolated from friends, be persuaded not to go to the gym or for drinks with friends and ultimately not to walk out when Adam threatened to take his life. In the end we saw that she did leave but can only guess at how long it took her to find the courage to walk away.
If you feel that your relationship is characterised by behaviour of this nature you can report it to the police. It is behaviour that is relevant in terms of non-molestation or occupation orders in the Family Court to keep your abuser away from you. It also amounts to unreasonable behaviour in terms of demonstrating that a marriage has irretrievably broken down.
Anyone who feels that they are a victim of coercive control should try and seek support through organisations such as the National Centre for Domestic Violence, Women’s Aid and ManKind Initiative. You may also wish to speak to a solicitor about steps that you can take with regard to your relationship and furthermore you may wish to involve the police. Do contact one of the team at Howes Percival if you require additional information and assistance.
For more advice on this issue or any other matters relevant to family law or divorce, please contact Justine Flack on 0116 247 3564 or [javascript protected email address] or Amy Walpole on 01603 580083 or [javascript protected email address]
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