Supporting someone emotionally through a divorce

24th April, 2025 by Amanda Glass

As professionals, we are naturally focused on giving family law advice. Sometimes, however, we might lose sight of how meaningful it can be to offer emotional support to our clients, friends and family as they navigate the choppy, and sometimes frightening, waters of their divorce journey. This article offers guidance on how to be there for someone during a difficult time – what to say, and how to help them feel heard and supported. While this isn’t legal advice, it is intended as practical and compassionate insight into being a steady presence for someone going through a divorce.

Here are some gentle and effective ways we can be there for them by using our natural empathy to offer support:

1. Be a Safe Space

Listen without judgment. Let them vent, cry, or sit in silence. They may just need someone to be present.
Avoid offering too much advice unless they ask. Sometimes they just need to feel heard, not “fixed.”
Never offer an opinion unless asked and then dilute it. They may be able to save the marriage so ploughing in with negative comments about their spouse is not helpful either now or in the long run. In any event they will be aware of their faults without you pointing them out!

2. Validate Their Feelings

Say things like, “It’s completely okay to feel like this” or “That sounds really painful. I’m here with you.”
Remind them that grief is part of the process—even if they were the one who initiated the divorce.

3. Help Them Feel Less Alone

Invite them to do small things with you: go for a walk, grab coffee, watch a show. These little moments can offer comfort.
Be consistent. Check in regularly with a simple, “Thinking about you—how are you doing today?”
Invite them for Sunday lunch either with the children or when the children are with the other parent – when I was getting divorced the weekends alone were the hardest and being included in normal things that I missed was so important

4. Offer Practical Support

Help with day-to-day stuff if they’re overwhelmed (meals, errands, walking the dog, watching their kids if they have any).
Assist them in finding emotional help (like a therapist or support group) if they’re open to it.
Help them build a professional team if they ask – a good mediator, solicitor, accountant and financial adviser
View properties with them if they have to leave the family home which will often involve downsizing. Focus on the positives of a new home

5. Respect Their Timeline

Everyone heals at their own pace. Be patient if they seem stuck or if their emotions fluctuate a lot.
Don’t say “time will heal” as this can diminish the pain they are feeling

Your thoughtfulness, kindness and support will be invaluable both during and after the divorce process.

If you have any questions or concerns, please contact Amanda Glass ([javascript protected email address]) for further information.

The information on this site about legal matters is provided as a general guide only. Although we try to ensure that all of the information on this site is accurate and up to date, this cannot be guaranteed. The information on this site should not be relied upon or construed as constituting legal advice and Howes Percival LLP disclaims liability in relation to its use. You should seek appropriate legal advice before taking or refraining from taking any action.

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